Exile And Family
by tielan
Summary: John stands on the outside, looking in at a family that's not his.


**NOTES**: Slight spoilers for _2.13 - Critical Mass._**  
**

**Exile And Family  
**

John paces through the camp in the twilight, one more shadow moving through the darkness as the Athosians make their way back to their tents and the meals and family that wait for them there.

He knows where to look for Teyla; Halling's tent, discussing the state of the Athosian people with him. And if she's not there, then Halling will know where she is - or point John to someone who does.

After a year, the Athosians are used to him, and he's used to them. They're a nice people, easy-going, John likes them.

Usually, he'd call in with her first. Tonight, he thought he wouldn't interrupt her time with her people and just turn up quietly, catch her eye, let her make her goodbyes, and fly her back to Atlantis.

That was the theory.

John finds Teyla sitting in one of the larger tents, surrounded by her people, belonging to them as she doesn't feel she belongs in Atlantis. There's dinner on the table, a sturdy meal, simple but tasty, good company and and laughter. Even in the face of old Charin's death, the Athosians celebrate that they are here for one day more, that another of their number has died, but not at the hands of the Wraith.

And John can't quite bring himself to interrupt that.

The year in Antarctica was cold for more reasons than the weather. He lived alone, separate from the others on McMurdo base. A few light flirtations, a few half-hearted attempts to make friends, a lot of loneliness. His return to Afghanistan for three men already dead set him apart with the mark of Cain, and if others didn't know it, John never forgot it.

Teyla's got a reason to live in Atlantis, where John was exiled to Antartica.

All the same, John, more than most in the city, knows how difficult it is on her.

She's sitting shoulder-to-shoulder between a broad-shouldered man whose gaze is frank and admiring, and a woman whose pointed features twitch with suppressed laughter. The dusky face smiles at something that is said in her direction, and gives an arch rejoinder that is too soft for John to hear, but which sends the gathering into peals of laughter.

He pauses outside the tent, unwilling to just walk in and join in with the celebration of life, unable to interrupt her time with her friends - her family!

In the end, he turns on his heel, intending to head back to the 'jumper and kick back for an hour while Teyla spends time with her people. They don't need him at the city, and he thinks it's more important that Teyla hang out with her friends, without her duty to her people calling her back to Atlantis.

He collides with someone coming the other way. "Colonel Sheppard!"

"Jinto." The boy is tall and gangly now that he's had his first growth spurt, fast-growing into a man.

"You're not coming in for dinner?" There's palpable disappointment in the adolescent's expression. "There's enough for you."

John spares a glance at the tent and catches Teyla's eye. She shouldn't be able to see him, standing out here in the darkness, beyond the range of the lamps. But he knows she does. "I..."

It's too late to retreat. She's risen from her seat and is coming to the mouth of the tent. "John? Is it time to leave?"

"Yes." He says the first thing that comes into his head. "I mean, no. You can stay here a bit longer. I was just going to go back to the 'jumper..." It sounds lame, even to him. God only knows what Teyla thinks.

Her face is in shadow from the lit tent behind; John can't see her face as clearly as she can see his. But he can hear the kindness in her voice. "If you are going to wait, then you should stay and have dinner with us."

"We haven't seen you in a long time," Jinto says.

"I--" John would like to accept. Atlantis is beautiful, and he's adopted the people there as his own - from Rodney McKay to Ronon Dex, but there's a formality to the expedition that isn't present here. If Atlantis is a community of friends, the Athosians are _family_ to Teyla.

John hasn't had family in a long time.

Teyla sees his hesitation, and her mouth quirks. "There will be tea, Colonel."

He smiles in spite of his reservations. The Athosian version of 'tea' is strong enough to make whiskey seem mild, even if it isn't alcoholic. "It's John," he reminds her, glancing back the way he came, past Jinto, into the cold, dark night. He doesn't really want to walk back to the 'jumper and sit by himself. Not if there's a better offer available.

But it's Teyla's people - her time with her people.

She tilts her head at him, ignoring Jinto who's stepped back to wait. "John?"

"I--" He gives up. "Dinner?"

She knows he's given up. "Yes."

"And tea?"

Her mouth curves. "Bracing tea."

"Okay."

It's not his tent, his family, his people; but Teyla is more than willing to share them, at least for tonight - just as he shares Atlantis with her.

For the duration of dinner, John is part of a family, too.

- **fin** -


End file.
